Parenting gifted children can be a challenge, as they tend to develop at a different pace than other children their age. Beyond demonstrating advanced abilities, gifted children may also exhibit intense emotions, have difficulty connecting with peers, and sometimes say and do unusual things.
Gifted children have great emotional depths and strong attachments to people, places, and things. They have a deep concern for others, but they may also have intense self-criticism and anxiety. They may be accused of being melodramatic or overreacting, but these emotions are very real for them. They are also vulnerable to a number of issues and situations that can hamper their cognitive and affective development.
Many gifted children need targeted assistance with peer relationships, perfectionism, asynchronous development, and situational stressors. Parents, teachers, counsellors and any trained professional can assist in the growth and progress of these children in many ways to ensure they lead a well-balanced life like any other child.
Challenges Faced by Gifted Children
As special as they might be, there are certain behavioural problems exhibited by gifted children that parents need to be aware of and handle with care. Among them are:
Asynchronous Development
Asynchrony is the term used to describe the mismatch between cognitive, emotional, and physical development of gifted individuals. Gifted children often have variations within themselves and develop unevenly across various skill levels.
It is important for parents, teachers, and caregivers to realize that one size does not fit all for gifted children – and even those with similar IQ scores may not have similar skills, personalities, rates of development, abilities, or interests. The individual traits of one gifted child may be extremely different from another. And, the more highly gifted the gifted child, the more asynchronous he or she may be.
Burnout and Exhaustion
Gifted children are usually high on energy and pursue their interests by giving it their all. This causes them to get exhausted soon and deplete their energy reserves. For some children, taking care of the usual tasks of completing homework, keeping everything organized, and being perfect at everything, can get extremely stressful, and leave them not wanting to pursue what they want to.
Intensity and Perfectionism
Gifted kids often struggle with emotional intensity and perfectionism. They fear failure and react in unusually intense ways when they do not get through their way or are disappointed. Sometimes, perfectionism can be paralyzing to a gifted child, keeping them from trying something new for fear of failing at it. Perfectionism itself is not necessarily a problem, but when it affects a child’s ability to function, it is a problem.
Role of Parents
Parents play an important role in nurturing the emotional development of their gifted children by being advocates for their children in school and beyond. Here are some ways parents can improve their gifted child’s learning:
- Provide opportunities for enrichment through programs and activities outside the classroom
- Enhance peer relations by allowing the child to connect with intellectual peers with a similar mental age
- Establish a professionally guided, ongoing support group of parents of gifted children who can share their experiences of raising their gifted children
Need for Counselling
There are many areas in which gifted children may require specialized support and counselling. When seeking a counsellor to support and guide a gifted child, it is important that he or she has the ability to truly connect authentically with gifted individuals.